Saturday, December 22, 2007

While I Am At It...

Three blind mice,

Three blind mice,

See how they run,

See how they run!

They all ran after the farmer's wife

She cut off their tails with a carving knife

Did you ever see such a sight in your life

As three blind mice?

I love nursery rhymes. I was doing a little Christmas Shopping today (yes I capitalized the whole thing. It is like its own holiday...I don't know how many people bail out on work in the middle of the day to go shopping, but that is another post.) So I passe this company called The House of Blinds. The logo of this company is a blind mouse, and it got me to singing. As I thought about it, I wondered, isn't this a song we teach our yungins to sing in rounds? What a twisted song...Once again, if Marilyn Manson could only sing it. Would that be a song that you would want to use as a lullaby? A tale of three rabid vermin chasing after a psycho woman who is noted for cutting things off that she shouldn't? I think we could have a little fun with this. Bring it up to the 21st Century... I see it now, and here is the new title, "3 Varmints & The Crazy Lady" right have been sold.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Have You Ever Thought About It?

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list And checking it twice;

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry

Better not pout I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

So I was heading into work the other day when this song came on the radio. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year. I love the snow, the family parties, the lights, and even the music. This song really intrigues me though. The tune is what makes this song. Can you imagine Marilyn Manson screaming his own rendition of this song onto a disc? That would be a perfect song. I mean seriously, would that not be the most terrifying song in the world? I mean you could do some serious damage people...I daresay irreversible damage. If it got some play on the radio and the kids heard, Santa would slowly vanish into a world of obscurity and fear. I actually found the album online of some Marilyn Manson Christmas songs...I think I'll buy it. If you want a copy, shoot me an email, and I'll have you send me your soul. Happy Holidays!!!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Tuesday Triple Play

Well the time has come once again for me to sit down and review the past week...or two. About a week before Halloween I headed up to our neighborhood Blockbuster to see what they had out that I hadn't seen. To my surprise, there was one copy of 1408 that was available to be checked out. I couldn't believe it, I was lucky enough to grab the last one before the guy behind me snatched it up. In your face random guy. I hope you enjoy Herbie Fully Loaded.

I was really excied to see this show, as I love Samuel L. Jackson and worship John Cusack (If you have seen One Crazy Summer or Better Off Dead, you understand what I am saying.) The show starts out with John Cusack going around debunking local Urban Legends and ghost stories. It is all pretty tame until he gets a mysterious note from a hotel telling him to not go into Room 1408. Ok, the whole thing sounds hokey and the previews made it look like the jump-out-of-your-seat-with-a-load-in-your-pants type of movie with all the things jumping out from behind John, but this movie goes far below that...this movie appeals to your darkest fears and gets inside your head. Really an awesome show with one F'd up room. This room will eat you up, chew you to much and crap you all out only to have it happen again...over and over. What a wicked show this was, and the acting was really awesome. I gained a new level of respect for John Cusack and his versatility as an actoe. If you haven't seen this movie, what the Hell is the matter with you? Go get it right now and watch it. I have to give 1408 3.5 Bawls and the 7th Level of Hell.

This moves me to the next movie that I saw and about a week ago. I stopped in at Blockbuster yet again, and saw a whole mess of movies that I wanted to rent, but knowing that my taste in movies isn't really shared by those around me...(I'll never understand that, but whatever,) I was convinced by my sister to watch Deja Vu while she my wife and I ate dinner. I knew what the movie was about, and to be honest, I didn't really want to see ths flick because any serious movie that incorporates time travel in it makes me want to pass. Anyways I caved, grabbed myself a footlong Spicy Italian Subway Sandwich and Cold Bevarage, and sank into the sofa not really expecting much.

I love Denzel, and actually liked the story of this movie. The thing that unnerves me is any movie that deals with terrorism in any way...I don't know if it is because of 9/11, or the fact that I lived in the Middle East and witnessed terrorism first hand...I don't know, but it always unsettles me. Basically, Denzel plays and ATF agent who is called in to help with the investigation of a terrorist bombing of a ferry that kills a couple hundred men, women and is pretty gruesome the depiction of it. Hmm, but the story is pretty cool and really unique in how they go about the investigation. The whole car chase while looking into the past is pretty freaking awesome.

All in all, this was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, and maybe it is just how I am wired intellectually that time travel movies just seem to leave too many questions unanswered, But again, better than I thought it would be and I left fairly satisfied. I have to give Deja Vu 2.5 Bawls and a Shot of Reality.

And now onto a film that I just watched on Sunday evening. A film that I was amped to see when I first heard about it. It is a sequel to an unbelievably wicked film that came out a couple of years ago. The first film 28 Days Later was a complete shocker to me in the sense that it was a fairly small budgeted movie and that the things they pulled off in it were nothing short of spectacular, so when I heard about 28 Weeks Later, I knew I had to partake.

Once again, the film takes place in England, where 28 have transpired since the virus has literally decimated Great Britain. The thing I love about these shows, is that it takes a new spin on zombies...they aren't the mindless, slow-ass zombies that people have gotten so used to...even the newer Land of the Dead(ish) shows have broken away from that ancient idea. Good on them I say. The virus turns regular people into super angry, blood-thirsty maniacs, and man are they scarier than shirt. Once again, they manage to pull of a London that appears to be completely void of life and make the whole movie just creepy as hell with the mood. This movie is uber-gory and really graphic in some spots...I mean about as raw as you can get without sinking into the mess of Saw and Hostel...uggh. I hate mindless torture, goregasm flicks...anyways, this movie has its share of burning bodies, headshots with high-caliber guns, and even one wicked scene involving about 2 dozen Rage-a-holics and one channel Ice Cube and Chris Tucker from Friday, "Daayuumn!" So if I may make a recommendation, watch both 28 Days and 28 Weeks. Two awesome films. I have to give 28 Weeks Later 3.75 Bawls and an exploding head.

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Return to Hellview

Well, here I a once again sitting at my home office desk writing a press release that has been a curse of mine for about 5 days. I finally get a chance to work on it, and it is due tomorrow morning. Unreal how it is for the same client as I was working on in an earlier post...imagine that! Well, I would have worked on it earlier tonight, but the Monday Night Football game was too good to pass up. Brett Favre...kudos to you. The I had to do a little video project which had me go to my parents' house to film some video for a church project. So there is my video camera downloading video to the computer, my press release up on the screen waiting to be finished, a tall glass of Diet Dr. Pepper, the camera case, a couple choice CDs for my listening pleasure and my notebook with all my awesome notes. I hate myself for doing this once again. Wow, here it is 12:41 am and it is only Tuesday morning. It is going to be a long week boys. Damn it!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A little random fun...

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

In love, you are very protective and supporting.
However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous.

At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Saturday Movie Review

It was a dark and stormy morning...well, ok a little cliche, but it really is dark and stormy outside. I had just sat down to feed my son some breakfast when I decided to see what movies were on demand. I just love Halloween, because FearNet starts rolling out the scary movies. As I started scrolling through the selections, I came across one called "The Catacombs." Why not?

It started out really well just because Lions Gate Films and Twisted Pictures had their bloody hands involved with this film. I admit, I'm a fan of any movie that is spawned from the depths of Lions Gate and Twisted. I'm sure Rob Zombie would throw in his Kudos for Lions Gate as well...anyways.

This movie is about this unstable gal, (aptly played by Shannyn Sossamon of Knight's Tale, 40 Days & 40 Nights, The Order fame,) who receives a postcard from her sister (portrayed by PINK...who is actually pretty believable,) to leave the States and go to Paris.

So she arrives in Paris to be greeted by the stereotypical rude French people who laugh at her and her poor attempts at French...(I dunno Lloyd, the French are Assholes,) and finally saved by her sister. We see into the mind of our heroine early on and can tell that there are some serious issues she has...seems to be an overactive imagination. (Editorial: Wonder what that would be like?!)

Along with some boys (of course,) they head through Paris off to what is said to be the best of parties. All that needs to be said, is that this party they are going to, takes place in the catacombs of Paris...essentially, the largest mass grave on earth. The movie explanation states that of the 7 million dead in the catacombs, one isn't. The cinematography in the movie is actually spectacular, and the fact that the entire movie has countless human bones, skulls, blood in it, it really adds to the creepiness of the movie.

There is whole back story about the movie's protagonist that is pretty damn scary. When the show ended, I sat there rather happy about my free selection. Pretty cool show, and creepy enough to be a great Halloween movie, so I have to give Catacombs...Three Bawls + a Cask of Amontillado.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Leave Nothing Behind

I absolutely love the new Nike Football Commercials...I get goosebumps everytime I see them on the TV.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Catching Up

Well, where should I start? I recently underwent the longest road/business trip of my life. I flew into Philly last Sunday and flew back into Salt Lake the following Monday night. I was there with Jared Fogle (The Subway Guy) for work kicking-off the Subway FRESH START: Eat & Exercise Smart Campaign for Elementary School kids across the great state of Pennsylvania. Philly is a pretty cool place, and I have to say that I fell in love with it. I stayed in the Inn at Penn Hotel, which was unreal...I even bumped into Governor Huntsman and Mrs. Huntsman. Philly is a pretty cool place, and the people that I had the pleasure to work with were really cool. We were in Philly for a couple of days and then Jared went to Harrisburg/York/Lancaster to launch the same program. I made a quick stop in York to catch the first 3 innings of the York Revolution baseball game. It started to get late, and I still had a two hour drive into Johnstown. It was all good, seeing as I had some wicked tunes to keep me going. I discovered this band that any Jackass/Viva La Bam fan would know...cKy...they are unreal. I bought a couple of their albums, and if you haven't listened to them, I highly recommend their music. Anyways, a couple days later, Jared came to State College where we got ready to kick off one crazy-ass weekends. Jared was partof the pep-rally Friday night, and was that a wild ride. Coach Paterno came out and got the crowd really riled for the game the next day.

That night we would pass out about 100 4" sandwiches to crazy-ass kids camping at a makeshift campground known as "Paternoville" waiting to get into the game. We had Subway's NASCAR there andwe fired it up and had Jared lead the crowd in a bunch of cheers. (I have to say that was pretty wicked.) Saturday was crazy in that we had Jared all over the news for interviews. I even had the chance to meet Franco Harris of Penn State/Pittsburgh Steelers Fame.

The ultimate rush came about an hour before the game actually started. We were ushered in Beaver Stadium and led out onto the field...(all I can say is wow.) It was pretty awesome being down on the field for all the pre-game drills and exercises. Watching that stadium fill to the 110,078 that was announced was so surreal. I even had to get a picture of myself, Jared and Burbs on the field see top picture...I found that picture on someone's blog. I have never been a huge Notre Dame fan or a Nittany Lions fan for that matter, but being a part of the whole game-day weekend, and actually standing 2 feet away from JoePa, made me an instant fan. Being in State College during that weekend was an unbelieveably awesome experience.

After the Lions kicked the living piss out of the Irish, we hit the night scene in State College, and I have to say, hanging out with Jared made me feel like I was in an episode of Entourage. The guy can go anywhere, get into any club, and VIP area...and I got to be right there for it all. Needless to say I didn't go to bed until about 4:00 am Sunday morning. I wrote about my Sunday in the previous post...Halloween still haunts me.

Monday was crazy in that we visited three schools in launching that program. The best part was that I got a Subway sandwich made for me in Johnstown, and I had to put it in the car for my drive to Altoona (about an hour away.) We got to the school there and my sandwich (which had the Pennsylvania-only sweet peppers in it (mmmm, sweet peppers) just baked in my car.) After about an hour in Altoona, we drove on up to State College. The car started to smell a little like roast beef, and my sandwich had morphed into about the most haggard abomination known to mankind...(See picture to the right.)

Oh well, I miss the sweet peppers and the Buffalo Chicken sandwiches (holla JBB) that I enjoyed in the great PA. It was a marathon trip that I am still reeling from. I am still so tired and beaten up from the 1,200 miles I logged on my Mazda6 I rented. But all in all, a pretty sweet @$$ business trip.

Well children, I'm tired and the screen is f'in with my eyes...I'm off to bed.

We Are...

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Movie Review #3

I just have to drop in and throw down another movie review. I was on a business trip to Pennsylvania last week, and was running non-stop. Then it happened...a couple of hours were free, and I hit the movie theatres in Richfield, PA with none other than my buddy Jared know the Subway Guy. During the days leading up to Sunday, all we could talk about was the new Halloween and how badly we both wanted to see it. So we did our work and then headed to the theater.

The show opened up with a little more background into how seriously "F'd" up Michael Myers was as a kid. The kid they got to play him did a fantastic job at acting like a freaking psycho. The movie was uber-uber gory and violent, and let us not forget the countless "F-Bombs" flying in left and right.

Rob Zombie actually came through in this remake of an all-time classic. The whole move was so damn creepy and suspenseful, I was sitting back in my seat destroying my fingernails. Oe scene even made Jared jump out of his seat. Fans of Rob Zombie films will enjoy the cast that Zombie has brought on. Almost the entire cast of House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects return to play...ready for this? Law enforcement agents. How freaking ironic and perfect! Some of the violence was pretty over-the-top...really over-the-top actually, but damn it made for good gruesome fun. Also, as always with Zombie's films, the soundtrack is killer...literally, it will melt your brain. Another good thing about this film is that he does a great job of taking the stories from the other 23 million Halloweens that were made and compiling them into one sweet film. I did feel that the movie went by too quickly tho- Oh well, t'sall good. Mrs. Zombie (Sherri does a remarkable job as Mrs. Myers...seriously, she is an awesome actress. Kudos to Rob for showing his wife a little love. All in all, I liked the movie, and would go see it again. I'll probably catch it again on DVD so to see all the extras and commentaries. So now the moment we all have waited for... I have to give Rob Zombie's Halloween, two and a half balls + a Jamie Lee Curtis hanger to the eyeball.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Tuesday Movie Review # 2

Well boys and girls, I finally went out and rented one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Hot Fuzz is another example as to why British movies are slowly taking over. Ok, ok it may not be "British" per se, but British actors are taking over. I find myself liking our actor brothers and actress sisters across pond more and more everyday. With the exception of maybe two or three American actors, the Redcoats have come...ya...(I do have to show love to Bruce Campbell, Chevy Chase and Johnny Depp.) Anyways, the story of Hot Fuzz starts out with Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg...who is absolutely brilliant) starring as one bad-mother-freaking-ass cop who lays down so much smack that he receives a transfer to a small little hamlet because he is making the rest of the police look terrible. That is where the show really takes off is when he goes to this little hole-in-the-wall town where "Nothing ever happens." I hope that the guys who made this film and Shaun of the Dead continue to make quality films like these. Shaun of the Dead was another fine fine piece of work. I hadn't had that much fun killing zombies since the Evil Dead Trilogy.

I had to watch the movie when everyone else had gone to sleep, and there were times I had to bury my face in a pillow and laugh for fear that I would wake them up. There are so many things about this movie that spoke to me, that I had to rewind at least two dozen places to make sure I heard the dialogue right. Holy crap, what a ride that was. One of my favorite parts was when...I won't spoil it. If you haven't seen HOt Fuzz yet, run, don't walk...don't even take the car...we are trying to save the planet people; to your nearest rental facility and get it. You will not be disappointed. You'll laugh, you'll'll shite your pants with laughter!

I have to give Hot Fuzz Four Bawls, AND a Karl Malone kick to the crotch. Now that is saying something.

Just for you J.B(squared)

I was thinking of you tonight when I went to dinner. It just wasn't the still was freakin' amazing tho-

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Tuesday Movie Review

So I had a couple hours tonight to myself, and thought I would indulge and watch a movie on demand. It isn't really a secret that I am a fan of the horror genre, and when I saw that our dear friends at Comcast have started hosting the 8 Films to Die For, and nearly "shirt me drawers." I randomly selected the movie Penny Dreadful. For a low-budget thriller, I have to say that I was pretty impressed. It even had a cameo by cult-fav Michael Berryman. The filming is great, and the atmosphere of the show is actually pretty damn creepy. It kind of caters to a lot of our primal fears, lost, stranded, alone in the dark, being stalked by a faceless killer...uh ya. Overall, damn fine film. I wouldn't recommend it if you were planning on driving the state roads of Montana at night...(Author's editorial - That is no bueno.) Now after seeing this one, I feel like I am obligated to seek out the other 7 films. Is it a sickness that I have? Once I saw thr original Friday the 13th, I just 'had' to finish the other movies. Honestly, they will be making those films for-freaking-ever. Ok children, now the time that you have all been waiting for...I give Penny Dreadful two of four Bawls

Tuesday, August 7, 2007


I came across this profile of Debra Flinn's on MySpace, ( and I was really impressed. It appears that this lady is walking from Florida to Tennessee. Jeez. I guess she contacted Subway restaurants and told her about what she was doing, and Knoxville Subways provided her sandwiches along the way as a sponsorship. Thats pretty cool.

Friday, July 27, 2007


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door -- Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had tried to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for the lost Lenore -- For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore -- Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating "'Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door -- Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; -- This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, "Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you " -- here I opened wide the door; ---- Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!" This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" -- Merely this, and nothing more.

Then into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon I heard again a tapping somewhat louder than before. "Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -- Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;-- 'Tis the wind and nothing more!"

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he; not an instant stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -- Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -- Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore -- Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no sublunary being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -- Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore."

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered -- not a feather then he fluttered -- Till I scarcely more than muttered "Other friends have flown before -- On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

Wondering at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, "Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster so when Hope he would adjure -- Stern Despair returned, instead of the sweet Hope he dared adjure -- That sad answer, "Never -- nevermore."

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -- What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by Angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor. "Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath sent thee Respite -- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore; Let me quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!" Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! -- Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -- On this home by Horror haunted -- tell me truly, I implore -- Is there -- is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!" Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil -- prophet still, if bird or devil! By that Heaven that bends above us -- by that God we both adore -- Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore -- Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting -- "Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the raven "Nevermore."

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor Shall be lifted -- nevermore!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Health, Work & Hell

I am sitting here at my computer typing away on a mother-hugging press release for one of my clients...I wasn't able to get to it today, and like a jackass, I brought it home with hopes to do it tonight. When I get home, I don't want to write a damned release. I want to hang out with my family. I find myself asking the question, "What the Hell am I doing?" 2007 has got to be the absolute shittiest work year of my life. From 1/3/07 until now, my work life has been absolutely non-stop. I am so damn tired and burned out. I just got back from a vacation in Hawaii, and it didn't help calm me down at all. Once I got back in the office, all I has was more work to do and it was piling up everyday.

I still have this damn cough that I cannot get rid is the same cough that I got back in January...after a million different drugs, I still can't shake it. It has absolutely crippled me...literally. I coughed so hard, I blew my stomach open and had to in for surgery to have it taken care of. The thing that pisses me off the most is that I couldn't take any time off to rest and recover from my battle with Bronchitis, flew and Laryngitis. I just fought through it, and it landing me in the O.R. Thats just f'ing great!! The cough is starting to hurt my side, and I am worried that I am going to give myself another hernia. My teenage insomnia has returned, so I am getting roughly 3 hours of sleep a night, and it is killing me. All I do is worry now about work and whether I can keep doing it at the pace I'm going. I have been busting my ass for 7 months now, and I'm tired. I'm so burned out and I feel like what has made me successful in the past is no longer a part of me. I am just a shadow of what I used to be. I'm not fun, happy...myself anymore. I am just a shell of the old me. Work has just annialated me and my spirit. Every morning, I wake up and dread the day...I just want to sleep and get better. I never have understood the power that stress and no sleep can have over a person. I feel like I am in a deathgrip, with the life slowly being squeezed from me.

It is the depressing time like this that make me so mad and go back to the dark times. Dark thoughts fill my mind, and I hate everything around me. Don't worry, I'm not running for the razorblades, but the world just seems to be closing around me, and I can't breath. Everyday, I fight back the tears and bile that rises in my stomach. Is this what an ulcer feels like? Is this what a heart attack feels like? With every passing second, I feel like I am on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. Sometimes I can feel my heartbeat inside my head, and I think I am going to pop. Anxiety attacks are common-place now, and I think everyone is out to ensue I fail at everything I do. Time is my enemy in that there just isn't enough of the damn thing in the day to get everything accomplished. This isn't a call for help, just a blank page for me to rant and gnash my teeth.

This is what Hell must be...sitting here in front of my computer at 1:00 am, literally dying inside while my wife and son sleep. I will wake up in a few hours and go into work with a feeling of impending doom surrounding me all day long. My eyes are heavy, and all I want to do is sleep...I could sleep for a week straight...if I had the time. One day soon, I think I am going to have a nervous breakdown, and lose myself. Work has changed has scarred me...ruined me mentally and physically. At times when I finish a project, I should be happy and excited to move on to the next project...but I can'tfeel that satisfaction anymore.

As I sat in my rental car in Madison, Wisconsin last month at the culmination of the biggest PR campaign I have ever done, and one of the biggest stressors ever in my life, what should have been a time to kick it and celebrate that the beast was dead, I sat all alone at an intersection with storm clouds brewing around me...crying...sobbing really that my life was in the state that I was in...not Wisconsin...but a state of complete sorrow, sadness and solitude.
Now here I am putting off work so I could post a quick entry on my killer blog.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Sure Enough

So after about an hour trying to retrieve the other photos of the "UFO" out of my deleted messages on the old phone, I found them. I don't know the name of the lady who took my picture and was in this photo, but I found it nontheless. With this, you can see the fins on the back, and the actual size compared to a fully-grown person. I have another photo, but I'm not going to post it.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The X-Files (Salt Lake Episode)

Seeing as I really don't write in my journal anymore, I might as well write an entry on here. Maybe I'll just print off this page and paste it in the old journal. So anyways, yesterday was about one of the craziest days I've ever had. I didn't get much sleep the night before and I was coastin' on fumes even at 6:30 in the morning. I just had to stop in and get myself a Diet Rockstar to help me get going. I was driving west on I-80 when I saw one of the weirdest things I've ever seen. There, floating about 100 feet off the ground was this shiny silver tube. It was just hovering there. It wasn't moving at all, and I had to do about a 20-take while driving at 70 mph. I've never been one to give much thought to UFOs and aliens, but after seeing that thing, I really started to question myself.
I got into the office and I started to hear the buzz about the a UFO flying around the city. I knew I wasn't crazy...well at least not certifiable (yet.) I stood there in one of the conference rooms watching this huge ass blimp-like thing maneuver ever so carefully around the federal building. That was a little sketchy...this mysterious airship making circles around the fed bldg. Hmm. Anyway, this ship moved with such precise movement, that it looked almost fake. It would turn at a right angle, and then stop on a dime. So robitc, it was a little creepy. We couldn't see how it was being propelled, though we looked as best we could. One of my co-workers, "Craiger" calledone of the local new stations, and he said they acted like he was truly certifiable. Who laughed last Craiger? You my friend. It almost touched down on 200 South for a moment, then it lifted straight in the air and flew over our 24-floor building. About a dozen of us ran over to the other side to watch where it went. It slowly began to descend and soon vanished behind a parking garage. After the suspense nearly killed me, I ran to the elevator togo investigate. Naturally, there were five people in there with me and they all were stopping on floors before the lobby. (Damn Murphy's Law.) As I rounded the corner, there it was. This massive silver zeppelin sitting there. This other lady and I struck up a conversation, and she said tat she had seen it too and had the same WTF thoughts I did. I asked her to take a picture of me with it to show the boys in the office what it was. The lady I was with said she would stay with it until the guy who owned it came to pick it up. I got back showed a couple people the picture and we all had a good laugh.
Towards the end of the day, Gadd told me to send the picture into KUTV because they had all these pictures of the blimp flying around, but none like the silly one I took. So I thought why not. So I sent it in, and last night, I saw my picture in the paper and my name all over the internet. All from a little picture I took on my ancient cell phone. A reporter from the SL Trib called me last night to ask me about the day's events. So funny. Now that I think of it, I think I have some other photos that I thought I erased that I sent to that lady...stay tuned.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


Holy Crap...I haven't even watched one minute of the 2007 NBA FINALS, and I'm about to fall asleep writing about the series. I just have to throw a little rant out there for you all to snack is 12:42 am right now, and I am struggling to write a press release for one of my clients. Super-Awesome stuff, but so much to do in so little time. I did travel to Madison, Wisconsin last week and I had the chance to visit the University of Wisconsin's campus. Freakin' wicked campus. I even stopped in to see the brothers at Sigma Chi. Well, I should get back to my work...go Badgers!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Well, my Jazz are now out of the playoffs. Good run fellas, good run...well until the San Antonio Series. Good Hell. I'm a little distraught over how things turned out..oh well, its all good, the Jazz are young, and they'll be the terrors of the NBA next year...Ah next year, my favorite saying with my favorite teams (see left.) I have a vast array of 4 AFC Championship rings, 2 Western Conference Champion banners and one National League Championship Ring. The eternal Red Ribbon Winner...jeez. Wait, there is always next year!!! Oh, and bytheway....................................... these guys are still Assclowns.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Celtic Woman - Caledonia (Stereo)

One of my favorites

Voices of the Angels

Last night I had the privilege of going to a concert of one of my favorite groups. Celtic Woman has to be one of the greatest ensembles of female vocalists of all time...go ahead and fight me on that one. I can trace my love for this vein of music to a river running trip to the Green River I made over 12 years ago.

My buddies and I were all sitting around the campfire talking about the finer things in life, and from out of one of the tents came this angelic voice that I had neer heard before. I never knew Lloyd could sing like that...oh wait, no it was the first time I ever heard Enya sing. He has his stereo playing the CD The Celts, and instantly I was transported to medieval Caledonia. Enya and her music soon became an obsession of mine, and I could not get enough of her melodic voice. My Saturdays were filled with yardwork with my huge-ass CD player shoved in my pocket playing Enya over and over again. A little weird? Here I was a 16 year old putz spending hours listening and memorizing the Gaelic verses of the famous artist. Ya, wife still makes fun of me and my obsession with all things ancient. A few years later I went to Scotland and there I fell in love with the bagpipes (I even began bagpipe lessons later that summer,) and became so intrigued at my family's Scottish and Irish ancestry.

Anywho, fast forward a few years, and I happened to be watching PBS and stumbles upon a group from Ireland named Celtic Woman...and once again, I was immediately bewitched. I sat there for two hours, open-mouthed and teary eyed (try and not cry when they sing Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring,) and again, my wife made fun of me. I found out when the next showing was and fired up the TiVo. I had to talk about it at work the next day, and one of my co-workers saw it too, and he was caught in the mystical web that is Celtic Woman. Fast Forward a couple of months, and a business trip opportunity arose for about five of us at the agency to go to New York and New Jersey to plan and execute a World Record event. It was decided that my fellow Celtic Woman fan and I would spend our time on the Jersey side while the other three worked the New York side. During my endless media research for the area, (The New York/New Jersey media market is the largest in the nation,) I 'happened' to stumble upon the smallest newspaper in the entire media list's website, and there was a little banner saying that Celtic Woman was going to be playing at a venue 15 miles from our hotel...on one of the nights we were there. "Are you kidding me?" My associate likes to say that this event was truly brought to pass by "The Hand of God." Seriously, what are the chances that the two Celtic Woman fans in the whole agency would wind up in New Jersey together, on that date, in FREAKING HOLMDEL, NJ? It can only be pointed to one thing..."Divine Guidance." So, needless to say, we made it a point to get to the concert come Hell or High Water. Let me just say that the venue was unbelieveable (the P.N.C. Bank Arts Center)

The concert blew us away, and I have to say it was probably the best concert I had ever been to.

Fast forward to last night, when my best buddy, his wife, me and my wife hit the E Center and saw the Celtic Wom(e)n fill the arena with haunting melodies. As we were leaving, my buddy said it was probably the best concert he had ever been to. Our wives even liked it...who is laughing now honey? HMMMM?!

So if you haven't checked them out, I highly recommend looking at Celtic Woman.

Here is a little taste for you all: Check my next post.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Once Again

Ah, again, my beloved Jazz make it through another round...and once again, I am amazed that nobody picked them to do it. I have to admit, I can't stand watching the Golden State Warrior play ball, it makes me feel like I am watching a swarm of ants running helter skelter all over the place. I do have to give them props for knocking out the Mavericks...honestly who saw that one coming? I have always been a fan of Don Nelson (especially during his previous run with the Warriors. I love Chris Mullin, and loved the old Warriors, Mullin, Richmond, Hardaway RUN T-M-C anyone?) Anyways, I've always had a soft spot for the runt of the California NBA family. A couple of times this series though, I wondered wat the hell was going on to see a couple Warriors take it hard to a couple of the Jazz players. I don't mind a hard foul, in fact there are times when I look for it, but this series made the Warriors look like Thuggish Streetballers. Pretty lame if you ask me. Another thing that just kills me is the endless bitching at calls that don't go their way. It isn't just the Warriors, I've notices it a lot in the NBA nowadays, and I'll throw Jazz players into that mix. You can argue a call, and I'm not going to be bothered by it, but the endless bitch sessions that seem to take at least 5 minutes out of each game has got to stop...anyways, I gotta throw a little love out to the GSW. Helluva playoffs boys, and the fact that after each game they were all very complimentary of the Jazz, really showed a lot of character. (Especially not bitching about the officials...which both teams could have done throughout.) At the end of the game last night, Stephen Jackson walked over and gave Coach Sloan a congratulatory hug really was impressive. Now my last rant for this post...
Wow, it looks like one of you "experts" pulled their heads out. Congrats Mr. Anthony, you are the strongest link this week...the other four of you...ASSCLOWNS!

Sunday, May 6, 2007


So I sat down to watch my Utah Jazz play in Game 7 of the '07 Playoffs. It has been awhile since the Jazz have even been in the playoffs, and this team has brought back Pro-Basketball to Utah...(We still love you John, Karl and 'Horney'.) I gotta say that this team we have now is so fun to watch. The wicked thing is they are still so young. I love everyone on the team from Boozer to Araujo. So back to the was a hard fought war that had me on the edge of the couch all night. I chowed my Costa Vida Sweet Pork Burrito down like it was nothing and downed a couple glasses of apple juice just waiting for T-Mac or Yao to do something that would screw us up...that or the 'Zebras' homering for the Rockets screwing the Jazz...again. But in the end, I sat back and realized it ws 11:00 pm and I was spent. One thing I thought about was the fact that so many people, "experts" as they call themselves were so quick to write the Jazz off. Hmm...who's laughing now?

Certainly not these Assclowns...

Anyways, I love how the Jazz were one of the top teams all season, and hardly anyone gave the Jazz any love. Anyways, who cares, second round here we come. I don't have time to let my fingernails heal from the abuse they took last night during the game, but we'll find something else to chew. So I'll wrap this up with a bad-ass shot found on that says it all...

Thursday, May 3, 2007

The Dark Mark of my absolutely favorite parts in the Harry Potter movies. I'm just fascinated by the dark arts...even if they are J.K. Rowlings creations.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Saturday, April 14, 2007


So on my way to work the other day, I experienced another one of my pet peeves. A stupid local car dealer's new radio ad came blaring out over the airwaves, to the tune of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" song. I sat there and listened in disgust for about 10 seconds and thought, where the hell has creativity gone? I can see the meeting now, "Hmm, what can we do with a new commercial...something that will speak to our target demo...lets take a classic song, and bastardize it to promote our cars..." We saw it with that dumbass with the banks singing U2's "One," and that was an abomination in and of itself. C'mon people, can you not do your own thing? Isn't that what you get paid for? I'm sure if the Man in Black had heard this commercial, he would walk into that dealership and (see above.)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Havasupai...Four Years Ago

It was nearly four years ago that all my cousins (well, most of them) and I made the uber-long drive down to Havasupai, AZ. The drive down was really long, but ERK made it go by a lot faster with his anecdotes and super smart math skills. The 10 mile hike was hot, dry and tiresome, but dang when you hit that water, it was all worth it. The water was as crystle clear as Hawaii or The Bahamas. The where four main sets of waterfall...Navajo, Havasu, Mooney and Beaver. This picture was a snap of me just about to jump. When I launched, it was a little higher than I thought, and let a choice word or two echo throughout the canyons. That was a good time. I'd love to go do it again...sometime. Ok, enough nostalgia for the evening.

Monday, March 19, 2007


So I went and saw this 300 movie to see what all the talk was about. (Sidenote: I love the previews, almost as fun as seeing the actual movies...) First of all, I have to comment on the cinematography. Absolutely breathtaking. If Gladiator and Sin City were to have a child, it would be 300. During the 2.5 hours, I could barely keep my jaw off of the floor. The acting, music, storyline were all so good, I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to finally go see it. The battle scenes were absolutely unreal. Anyways, great family flick...ok maybe not family.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Power of a C.B.

Many years ago, I served my mission in Japan. Having always been a fan and supporter of the soda industry, I took pride in my taste of the finer beverages in life, (Dr. Pepper, Coke, Pepsi, Root Beer, Mountain get the idea.) It was until 1996 however, when a whole new world of soda choices opened before me. I think the Japanese people like soda just as much, if not more than Americans. (They just don't drink 108 oz. at a time.) The two years I spent in Japan were awesome for so many reasons, and one of those was the endless line of beverages I could enjoy. Sometimes I tell myself that I would give up Coke for a Mitsuya White Cider, or give up my Diet Pepsi for a BYG (Cola, Grape or the deadly Melon.) The power that a Cold Beverage has over me is rather disturbing. It seems that I always need something near my hand to doesn't even matter what it is. It has to be cold, carbonated and crisp...there you go, the three "C"s to a good C.B.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007


So it is no secret that I love music that not many people know about, or considered "Mainstream." Case in point, I've popped into a couple of MySpace groups and I received an invitation to check out this group called Creature Feature. Looking over it and seeing what the actual CD looks like (old school record,) I immediately fell in love. I just had to have a copy. Just another testimony that the best music out there isn't the pre-packaged crap we here so much of on the radio. It had been almost a year now since I last listened to the radio in my car...I prefer silence to the crap that a DJ/station manager wants you to listen to. Half the time, the best songs are the ones they don't play. Screw that crap. Halleluiah for awesome bands like Creature Feature.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Road Trip...for work.

Well, I am close to wrapping up my Montana Tour of Duty. I have been to Great Falls, Billings, Butte, and now I am sitting here in my hotel in beautiful Missoula. I have discovered a whole new world of culinary treats during my week. When I was visited Billings, I went out to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I must say that I fell in love instantly with it. I even bought a couple of sauces to take home with me, thanks man. Another fun spot is HuHot. Fan-freaking-tastic. Anyways, now I need to go crash for the night, cause I ate my own weight in Mongolian BBQ. Whywe don't have either one of these fine establishments in the SLC, is really beyond me. Franchise opportunity? Anyone, anyone? Frye...Frye?